How Managers Can Cope with Toxic Behaviour from Direct Reports

As a manager, you’re likely used to dealing with challenging dynamics within your team. But what happens when the source of disruption comes from a direct report? Toxic behaviour—whether it’s passive aggression, manipulation, or outright hostility and disrespect—can be particularly difficult to manage when it’s directed at you. It’s unsettling, it tests your resilience, and it can leave you questioning your next steps.

First, it’s essential to acknowledge the impact. Toxic behaviour can take an emotional toll, and ignoring it or brushing it aside often exacerbates the problem. Take a moment to check in with yourself. Are you feeling frustrated, drained, or even questioning your ability to lead? These feelings are valid, but they’re also signals that action is needed.

Start by assessing the situation with a cool head. Toxic behaviour often has underlying causes—personal struggles, workplace stress, or unmet expectations—and while this doesn’t excuse it, understanding the "why" can help inform your response. Approach the individual directly but calmly. Aim for a one-to-one conversation in a neutral setting where you can raise your concerns constructively. Use specific examples of the behaviour you’ve observed, its impact on the team, and your expectations moving forward. Clear communication is key, but so is maintaining a tone of respect and professionalism.

Boundaries are your lifeline. Toxic behaviour can escalate if it’s left unchecked or if you try to accommodate it too much in the name of harmony. Be clear about acceptable standards and follow through consistently. Document key incidents if necessary, especially if patterns emerge, to ensure you have a record if you need to escalate the matter to HR or senior leadership.

Equally, don’t forget to lean on your support network. Discuss the situation with a mentor, trusted colleague, or coach. Toxic behaviour can feel isolating, but you don’t have to face it alone. Gaining an external perspective can help you validate your instincts and develop effective strategies.

Finally, look after yourself. Dealing with toxic dynamics can erode your confidence and energy. Make time to decompress, focus on your wellbeing, and remember that one individual’s behaviour doesn’t define your leadership. Strength lies in how you navigate these moments—with integrity, fairness, and resilience.

Managing toxic behaviour from a direct report isn’t easy, but it’s an opportunity to lead with clarity and strength. By addressing the issue head-on while maintaining your professionalism, you set the tone for a healthier, more respectful team environment. And when you lead by example, you remind yourself—and others—of the standards worth upholding.