Checking for understanding

Approaching his line manager with an expectation of praise, having gone the extra mile to complete a goal, a client was surprised to find his manager expressing her irritation and disappointment with the result. What he’d done was not what she’d asked for, time had been wasted, and an important exercise had now become a scarily urgent one. In a subsequent coaching session he expressed his frustration that his boss was always like this; notoriously hard to please and difficult to work for.

This story is one we frequently hear in one guise or another. Just as often, this will be from the line manager’s perspective, and the frustration associated with the inability of direct reports to undertake simple requests and complete straightforward objectives.

In such cases we might ask the person how sure they were that the other person understood what was being requested.  Very often they will be very quick to respond that they were absolutely clear. They might say something like “well, it’s obvious what was meant” or “she said she was OK about it…” and so on. In virtually all situations, an assumption has been made – an assumption that you understand my request, or an assumption that I understand what you are requesting of me. Rarely it seems do we test these assumptions.

Giving vague or unclear directions is terribly common at work (and at home!) – we all do it. There are various contributory factors at work, for example:

• We may be busy

• We may assume that what was meant was obvious

• Some personality types are less likely than others to be detail focused or specific in their language. For example, research suggests that introverted types tend to be more specific in their communication than extroverts

and so on. Our clear understanding of what we mean sometimes makes it difficult for us to assess the gaps or areas of possible ambiguity or misinterpretation for others.

Accepting vague or unclear directions or objectives is similarly common, and for similar reasons. In addition, if we have a tendency to please others, we may be more likely to accede to a request and to quickly get stuck in. If we are low in assertiveness we may be reluctant to ask for clarification or to admit we are unclear. Usually though, we make similar assumptions and assume we know what is meant.

So how can we overcome these assumptions and avoid the problems that result?

1. When you are giving a direction or setting an objective, be as clear as possible – ideally use SMART-type* goals to shape your request

2. Once given, check that the other person has fully understood what has been requested. Ask them to describe what they have been asked to do (in practice, this step often reveals gaps in understanding)

3. Encourage your team and colleagues to challenge you for clarification of objectives and requests

4. When you are being given an objective or direction, check with the person to ensure that you have fully understood what they mean. Repeat back what you understand has been communicated. Have them confirm or correct the request. If the person is vague use the SMART goal mnemonic to remind you of what you need to know

5. If the person has a habit of changing the goal posts, follow up the last step with a message or email confirming what has been agreed – it will probably help them to become clearer in their communication too.

 * SMART goals are those which are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound.

To learn more about our coaching programmes, or to book a free initial consultation, contact us on enquiries@managingchange.org.uk