Most of the mums and dads we work with are balancing the often competing needs of work and childcare. All families have their own arrangements as to how that balance will be managed. Yet it still seems that most nurseries, day care centres and schools only call or message mum when they need to get in touch.

Many of the mums (and many dads) we work with find this quite frustrating especially when it is an assumed and default position. One dad told us that that even though he does most of the drop off and pick up, his nursery still messages mum with information and requests for his son. For many mums, being the assumed contact point despite dad, granny or a nanny being the principal day carer is irritating and distracting when they are called by the nursery during a busy or demanding day.

However, assumptions run both ways. Your childcare provider may be assuming that mum is the main contact point but if this is incorrect have you clearly told them? Some of our mums have recognised that they have shied slightly away from this clarity (maybe through fear of negative judgment or because they want to stay in the loop). As in so many situations, lack of clarity paves the way for much misunderstanding. Whether you are mum or dad, be clear about what you want and clearly assert your preferred contact arrangement confidently. While this seems ridiculously simple and straightforward, many don't do it. If that includes you, rather than beat yourself up over it, ask yourself why? Unraveling the answer to that may ease many related working parent stresses.